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Funny quotes from woman to man

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How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.

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Funny Quotes About Men to Make You Laugh Till Your Insides Hurt

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Milk Snort! The Joke Game. More Info - Watch The Video. Hilarious quotes and funny sayings about women. Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. Thank heaven for little girls For little girls get bigger every day Thank heaven for little girls They grow up in the most delightful way.

Funny Sayings: "Women," Group 1. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works. Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make men stupid. The only reason I'd ever get a sex change operation is to see what it's like to be right all the time.

Women have more imagination than men. They need it to tell us how wonderful we are. The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired. The secret to winning an argument with a woman: They have to be dead. Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere. Women are like diesel engines. And what I mean by that is it may take a little while to get 'em warmed up, but once you do, they can run a long, long time.

Whereas, men, on the other hand, men are more like bottle rockets. Men are simpler than you imagine my sweet child. But what goes on in the twisted, tortuous minds of women would baffle anyone. Feminine intuition is a fiction and a fraud. It is nonsensical, illogical, emotional, ridiculous, and practically foolproof. To a smart girl men are no problem - they're the answer.

Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL convertible. O'Rourke There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

If a woman watches a movie alone, who answers all of her questions? She did everybody. God is the best inventor ever. He took a rib from a man and created a loudspeaker. The women's movement hasn't changed my sex life. It wouldn't dare. When they're not upright, they're grand. Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we would never need solace. Luckily this is not difficult.

I have a friend named Doris who argues, on good authority, that the single biggest cause of global warming is menopause. From what I understand about the female experience, the period should be called something more drastic, like the exclamation point. They both distrust women. Mencken Women aren't confusing.

They're a Sudoku-Jenga-puzzle surrounded by Rubix cubes strapped to a terrorist screaming at you in another language - Mike Vanatta. Women complain about sex more often than men. Now check out the Video Joke of the Day The Perfect Zoom Game! The game where everybody gets to be funny! Click Here. More Like these? Go here:. Jokes About Women. Jokes About Men. Funny Quotes About Men. Funny Marriage Quotes. Guaranteed laughter and heaps of hilarity with this simple zoom game from JokeQuote.

Easiest way to have a funny zoom party. Everyone wins! I got married. Obviously I breed well in captivity. I asked my mom if I was adopted. Newest funny jokes of the day. Funny quotes, sayings, photos, songs, videos and more. Because it's a small island. Walk up to someone at work and whisper, "They know! It's cool to fool! Copyright Notice: All quotations by Greg Tamblyn and Melanie White are copyrighted, unique to this site, and may only be used with permission.

Thank you. Unauthorized copying protected by Copyscape. Hilarious Quotes About Women. All comments are moderated by the Head Lafologist. JokeQuote LAFology! First Name:. I am at least 16 years of age. I have read and accept the privacy policy. I understand that you will use my information only to send me a newsletter. Subscribe Me! Newest Fun Stuff. Your Email. Your First Name. I understand that you will use my information to send me your newsletter JokeQuote LAFology, and you'll keep my info secure and private.

Funny Quotes About Men

I like my coffee hot and strong, like I like my women , hot and strong I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.

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Women are wonderful creation of God. The world would never be the same without them. And whether you admit it or not, your life would never be complete without your girl. But you are wrong if you think you already know your girl well. Read our list of funny quotes about women and tell us what you think.

The 60 Funny Quotes about Woman

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? If make a purchase through these links, we receive a commission at no extra cost to you. Please see our disclosure for more info. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases endorphins. Quincy is KIM's lead editor and content writer, and has invested in online properties since When not working on KIM, he enjoys traveling, poker, and anything related to crypto. Hey, Thanks for this post. It is very interesting and helpful quotes and I think these are life changing quotes. Keep posting new updates with us.

Man Quotes

This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own. We men love these phrases that remind us in an instant of our values, what we believe in, what we wake up to each morning. The simple fact of reading certain quotes, of noting them, of retaining them inspires us. Whether for sport or to find courage to act.

Keeping an element of humour in situations sees us through life.

Life is too short to be spent in being sad and cribbing about things. A funny incident here and there can help add a glint of smile to a boring day. Anything hilarious, be it a funny scene, incident or even a quote, always brings sunshine to a gloomy day. Funny quotes about anything can help keep your life on a high note.

Funny Quotes about Men to Make You a Serious Man

And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. If the world were ruled by women then there would be no war… Just couple of nations not talking with each other. Women are like telephones they like to be held and talked to but if you push the wrong buttons you could be disconnected :]. You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men. Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

Funny Quotes from Successful Women

Sign in with Facebook Sign in options. Join Goodreads. Quotes tagged as "men-and-women" Showing of A woman's face is her work of fiction. Deal with it.

Oh, and cool pics about Men Will Be Men. Also, Men Will Be Men photos. Funny Women QuotesWoman QuotesFunny SayingsFunniest Quotes EverStupid Guys.

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100 Funny Quotes and Sayings about Women with Hilarious Images

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Comments: 1
  1. Brakasa

    Excuse for that I interfere … I understand this question. Is ready to help.

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