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How to get rid of thoughts of your ex girlfriend

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Lisa Marie Bobby Jan 22, Dr. Now, waves of rage, pain, self-doubt, and resentment are crashing over you. It feels like your blood has been replaced with Arctic seawater: Frozen and stinging at the same time. Are they on the motorcycle right now? Are they holding hands right now? Maybe they are having sex right this very second.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How To Get Over Your Ex In 5 Simple Steps

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How Can I Forget About My Ex and Move on For Good?

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Walking away from a meaningful relationship is always going to be difficult. When it wasn't your decision, a break up can be even harder. But no two situations are exactly the same. Sometimes, people are oblivious that their partner is unhappy in their relationship, whereas in other cases, there are tensions bubbling under the surface for a long time before things reach a breaking point. If you've ever been through a break up, you'll know it took a while to feel like yourself again.

It's one of the most traumatic things that can happen in our adult lives — but we still embark on new relationships, because the pay-off is worth it despite the risks. When something threatens our connections, primal feelings can fire up, and a break up can feel so devastating thanks to how we're wired both biologically and psychologically.

Here are 14 reasons it's so hard to let go, even if the relationship was totally wrong for you in the first place.

Put simply, one of the main reasons you're not letting go of a past relationship is because you're lonely right now, said Erika Ettin, a relationship coach and founder of A Little Nudge. It's much better to be single than to be with the wrong person. Immediately after a break up, you're likely to still be connected to each other on social media.

Ettin said this isn't a good idea. Online stalking can get out of hand. Don't do it. In time, you may be able to be friends. But don't try to rush it. If you're meant to be in each other's lives, it will happen naturally. So don't worry about burning bridges — look after yourself first. If you were with someone who was bad for you, your confidence may have taken quite a knock while you were together.

So you're craving that validation. Now it's time to look inward for that validation. In the midst of a break up, you're likely to only focus on the good times you and your ex had. Niels Eek, a physiologist and cofounder of the mental wellbeing and personal development app Remente , said learning to let go is one of the most important steps to take in order to relieve yourself of a relationship, especially if it was toxic.

While it may be difficult at first, the more you practice compassion and understanding, the easier this process will become. Humans are also a social species, said Eek, so you can find it hard to walk away from people, even if they're wrong for you. Many people are scared of ever being alone, Eek said, which makes your attachment to a previous relationship even stronger. People can obsess over their exes for various reasons, Eek said, including the fact you're unlikely to ever get closure.

This can give people "an inability to understand a situation, and the feeling of helplessness in not having any power to change it," he said. The truth is, when someone hurts you, you're not going to like any of the reasons why it happened.

So racking your mind for explanations isn't going to help you in the long run. It's best to try and let it go. Rumination is often associated with anxiety disorders and depression, he said, and can prevent people from acknowledging and dealing with their emotions, as they try fixate on the situation instead of trying to understand their feelings that the situation has caused. Shannon Thomas, a licensed therapist and author , said people often grieve the potential that was in their past relationships.

Our daydreams are fueled by the lingering thoughts of 'if only You might find yourself thinking about all the choices you made and things you said before the break up, essentially regretting every tiny mistake you both made. If only the good, fun times together had lasted longer. Frequently, unhealthy connections also include great moments that at that time gave us hope that all would be okay in the relationship.

After the break up, it's very easy to allow our thoughts to drift to regrets and unmet wishes. Perpetua Neo, a therapist and psychologist , said your past relationships can affect your new ones because of something called " repetition compulsion. The problem is, we choose people who may not want to or cannot change. Even if we're unaware of this compulsion. If we feel this need to fix that mistake, it's hard to have closure over an ex.

Being familiar and being comfortable in a relationship are two different things. If something feels familiar, it means you've probably been through a similar situation before, whereas feeling comfortable with someone means being able to be yourself without fearing repercussions for your views, opinions, or feelings.

Familiarity can also mean we don't know how to deal with other sorts of people who may be good for us — instead we may dismiss them as dull. Breaking up with someone who is familiar is hard because you don't only have a bond to them, but to all the other people who were like them who came before. Finally, you might be struggling to move on because you're still in contact with your ex. This is a particularly bad idea if you're trying to move on from a relationship that was abusive.

With that, it is impossible to have a sense of closure. Other forms of contact may include obsessing over their lives via friends or social media. Put up healthy boundaries in place , she said, or you'll never rise above it and heal from the relationship. World globe An icon of the world globe, indicating different international options.

Lindsay Dodgson. Snapchat icon A ghost. You're lonely. You see their social media. You lost confidence during the relationship. You only remember the good times. You haven't learned to let go. Humans are a social species. You're afraid of being alone. You didn't get closure. You can't stop ruminating.

You're grieving the potential that was in that relationship. You're mulling over regrets. You're going through repetition compulsion.

Your ex feels familiar. You're still in contact. Love Psychology Therapy.

How To Stop Thinking About Your Ex

If you buy something through a link on this page, we may earn a small commission. How this works. Imagine this scenario: You and your ex broke up about a year ago. In fact, you still think about your ex all the time with some social media stalking thrown in as well.

Take heart, for you will move on with your life. You can stop ruminating about the past — and you can rebuild your life, renew your heart, and restore your joy!

Despite the breakup, thoughts of your ex are still ever-present. You dream about them, you revisit all the memories you shared and everything that reminds you of how much you cared and still care for this person. In other terms, breakups can be devastated and not even close to thinking that you can forget about your ex and find the one, but also you may feel relieved when you recognize that you and your ex-were incompatible. Well, the good news is that the coaching team at withmyexagain.

I Can’t Stop Thinking About My Ex During No Contact

Many guys end up missing their ex woman for many months, years or even decades after the break up. I just want to be with her again. If I had her back, I would be happy. I know it. A guy is essentially stuck in limbo as he waits for No Contact to miraculously make her come running back to him. Then, when he finally gets in touch with her after 30 or 60 days and she senses that he needs her back, she feels even more turned off by him, especially if she is now happy and enjoying life without him. So, if you want to stop thinking about your ex during No Contact and just start getting her back, the first step is for you to begin feeling emotionally independent i.

How to Stop Obsessing About Your Ex’s New Relationship

Subscribe To Our Newsletter! Easier said than done. Experts agree that time will heal your pain but the longer you let it simmer the worse off you will be. There are all sorts of different routes to end a relationship. And yes, some people can breakup and remain good friends.

If you've been suffering from a hard break up, this article is for you.

Article Summary:. They regained their freedom-- and so can YOU And I'll show you how. First, a brief on being obsessed with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.

To Everyone Who Can’t Stop Thinking About Their Ex

Having a relationship end can be a painful experience, particularly when your thoughts continually drift back to your ex. Whether your relationship just ended or you're still struggling to get past the hurt months later, you may feel that these constant thoughts are preventing you from moving on. Fortunately, there are several techniques that can help you accept that the relationship is over and finally stop thinking about your ex.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: The Cure For The Crazy Ex Girlfriend

Walking away from a meaningful relationship is always going to be difficult. When it wasn't your decision, a break up can be even harder. But no two situations are exactly the same. Sometimes, people are oblivious that their partner is unhappy in their relationship, whereas in other cases, there are tensions bubbling under the surface for a long time before things reach a breaking point. If you've ever been through a break up, you'll know it took a while to feel like yourself again.

How To Get Over Your Ex-Girlfriend

By Chris Seiter. And believe me, I am not here to make you feel bad about that fact or to convince you otherwise like some of your friends and family may try to do. And I am not going to lie to you. Turns out that not only do men think about their exes as much as women do but they do some of the craziest things when they are obsessing about their exes. What are your chances of getting your ex back? No matter how difficult your situation may be, you may still have a chance.

The first thing that goes in mind is the memories of your past that make you remember your ex or any person whom you loved. There is no bad in it, but the  5 answers.

You are not crazy. Moving on is tough work and it happens very gradually. This can mean months and even years are spent thinking about them as the person you end up with. I used to be really hard on myself about how long it took me to get over someone. The truth is that there is no other way.

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