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Looking for girlfriend > Looking for a boyfriend > Me and my boyfriend are sick

Me and my boyfriend are sick

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Everyone in my life is fed up with him, including my parents. He's a state trooper, and I'm a waitress, still in school, so he has his career and money, while I don't make much at all. At times, he still makes me pay for little things. I'm not saying he has to buy me everything, but he literally pays for nothing. When we go out to eat, he will pay for it here and there. But recently, we were in this shooting competition, and he said if I paid for the shells, he'd pay for the entry fee.




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As a graduate student in public health, I spent my days talking about illness and death. None of this talk about illness remotely prepared me for the experience of illness. Over the course of a year, Evan got progressively worse in a series of fits and starts. He was in and out of the hospital and died toward the end of I was heartbroken and devastated. But within a few years, I healed and was back to participating in normal life.

Then, I started getting dizzy spells and severe face pain. A few months later, a very large yet benign tumor was removed from one of my sinuses. I spent months confined to my apartment waiting for my sinuses to heal and the pain to subside. I barely slept. I was always bracing for what would happen next. Evan spent twenty-one nights in the hospital over the course of eleven months.

Because he asked me to leave. Because he wanted me to get enough rest so that he could count on me coming back. Many of us have dreams of being the valiant caregiver who selflessly never leaves the hospital bedside for a moment. Leaving their side can feel awful.

You may feel crushing guilt from not being able to do enough. Friends or family may question your commitment. Serious illness is a marathon. For most of the time that Evan was ill, we thought that he had a lung disease that was treatable.

It was only in the last two weeks of his life, the day after they sedated him and put him on a ventilator, that we found out that he was terminal. A rare form of lung cancer. I cut him off after one sentence. He was going to get healthy! On that night, I wish I had acknowledged how scary things were for him. I wish I had let him know that whatever happened, I had no regrets about the time we spent together. Because I never got another chance.

Later, may never come. After Evan died I met up with my friends Derek and Tatiana who had been on their own journey through illness. They were engaged, and Tatiana had been in treatment for breast cancer during the same time that my boyfriend was ill. Derek had been taking care of her. Derek and I agreed that one difficulty was how friends and family were so focused on how the patients were progressing that us caregivers often felt invisible and unappreciated.

Everyone wanted to know how the patient was doing, what treatment we were trying, and if it was working. But few asked me and Derek how we were doing. But illness impacts all the people close to the patient, too. Caretakers shift our work schedules so we can be there at the important doctor appointments. We file the bureaucratic hospital paperwork. We learn the ins and outs of insurance companies.

Being a support person is stressful and scary, yet caregivers often feel conflicted about asking for help themselves. As a friend, regularly checking in on what you can do to help the support person can help them be a more reliable support. When your loved one is sick, you may decide that you want to put off a difficult conversation with them. I was grumpy. My thinking was muddled and foggy.

During this time, I had a close friend who got tired of sick Lori. When I reached out to her, she would delay our get together, chalking things up to a busy work schedule. Eventually she would agree to meet up and then not enjoy the time we spent together.

Months later, when I was feeling better I asked her if something was wrong. We are no longer friends. And that day when you disappear with no chance of returning is more than a disappointment for your sick loved one. The surgeon who took it out my tumor warned me that it would be months before I was pain-free and back to normal life. I shared this information with my family.

Nevertheless, about two weeks after the surgery my mom started asking me if I was pain-free every time she texted me. Three weeks after surgery, she sent me pictures of her trip to Disneyworld with the rest of my family. Hopefully, you are out of pain by now!!!

To remind me that there were fun things to look forward to in life. Instead, those texts and photos broke my heart. They showed me that my mom was not ready to accept the seriousness of my situation.

I was at the beginning of six weeks of excruciating pain and no effective medication to counter it. I spent a few hours each day screaming into a pillow and questioning whether life was worth this much pain. After those texts, I stopped asking my mom for emotional support, because I no longer believed she could give it. If your loved one is really sick, be sensitive. Acknowledge how tough things are before you gush about your magical vacation, your budding romance, or the wild dance party you went to last night.

Healing often means special diets. After my surgery I was on a paleo diet with a Chinese medicine twist. I was feeling better. So every time someone offered to make food for me I felt anxious. My dietary rules were complex and varying, and for a while I was in so much pain that I was communicating with a whiteboard, which made it hard to communicate the myriad ways you could mess up.

Even though you tried to tell them how they had to read the ingredients list on everything. Even rotisserie chicken. If you do make food for someone on a restricted diet, know that you are not just making food.

You are making medicine. And your care and attention to detail needs to be the same as if you were preparing to give someone medicine. Every year, my friend Charlotte invites a group of us out to dinner for her birthday. When she invited me in , I told her it would be a long shot for me to go, but I wanted to try.

Her birthday came two months after my surgery. I was in bad shape. I was having pain episodes that had me crying into a pillow a few times a day. Charlotte is one of my closest friends, and she did everything she could to make it work. She chose a restaurant that had food I could eat.

She called ahead and asked about stairs and elevators. She figured out which of the options had the shortest possible distance between where she could drop me off and the front door. The pain was too bad and I was too tired. Thankfully, Charlotte was understanding. If your loved one is sick, the fact that they need to change plans in no way reflects how much they care about you. They are not in control of what happens. Trust that they are doing their best. The one certain rule is that there are no certain rules.

Depending on the circumstances and the people involved, all of these things could change. Some people may want you to distract them from the circumstances or the pain by pretending that everything is like it used to be. Or they may appreciate you holding your tongue. Have you been a caregiver? What are you most proud of? What do you wish you had done differently? Lori Puma works with coaches who have made tough changes to create a better life for themselves. She helps them share their story so that they get recognized as experts and make more money.

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As a graduate student in public health, I spent my days talking about illness and death. None of this talk about illness remotely prepared me for the experience of illness. Over the course of a year, Evan got progressively worse in a series of fits and starts. He was in and out of the hospital and died toward the end of I was heartbroken and devastated. But within a few years, I healed and was back to participating in normal life. Then, I started getting dizzy spells and severe face pain.

26 Amazing Boyfriends You Can Totally Count On When You’re Sick

A partner really shows his true colors when you are sick. Anybody can be a rockstar boyfriend when their girlfriend is energized, perky, up for sex, and willing to help make dinner. Does your boyfriend fill up his schedule so he can avoid the responsibilities that come with having a sick partner? Or, does he stay by your side?

Blame each other- You try and figure out between you who the bringer of the bug was into the house. Was it from someone at your work or theirs?

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Here's a straight up brag: I don't get sick often. I am almost nostalgic for the days of being cuddled up in bed, doted on by my mom who would make me smoothies and tuck in my blankets. Or, I was nostalgic such days until I got very sick recently as an adult and spent the day trying not to puke in bed. Spoiler alert: being sick is zero percent fun and gets in the way of everything. The stages of getting sick are not unlike the stages of air travel.

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If dating is a practice run for marriage, some of us should better prepare for the "in sickness and in health" portion of the vows. Believe it or not, I have fond childhood memories of being sick. I didn't often catch a cold or the flu, but when I did, my mother knew just what to do. She would say "poor baby" and bring me everything that would make me feel better. My mother's special treatment almost made the fever and nausea worthwhile. Those who originally belonged in the first bucket, but they've been disappointed or single for so long that they believe they belong in the second bucket. I remember the first time I got sick after leaving my parents' home.

Oct 28, - I'm 24, and he's Everyone in my life is fed up with him, including my parents. They tell me how I should be treated, and he's not doing it.

It is a painful topic that no one really wants to discuss, because they will have face the ugly truth straight in the eye. It takes guts to be candid about the difficulties of caring for a chronically ill spouse. It also takes a lot of finesse, patience, empathy, compassion and commitment to deal with a chronically ill spouse or significant other.

Surprising reason you get sick at same as your partner

You want a guy who'll bring you all your favorite stuff ASAP. And your milkshake of choice when you can't eat anything solid. Nothing says "I care" like a care package with all you need.

10 Things couples do when they’re sick at the same time




In sickness and in health, even in dating



Comments: 4
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  2. Vill

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  3. Shaktit

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  4. Dotaur

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